roversex

When it seems
Like the world around you's breaking
And it feels
Like there's no one else around you
And it's quiet
There's a silence in the darkness
And it sounds
Like the carnival is over

As you walk
In the crowded empty spaces
And you stare
At the emptiness around you
You wanna go
To the city and the bright lights
Get away
From the sinners that surround you

Cause I will be there
And you will be there
We'll find each other in the dark
And you will see
And I'll see you too
Cause we'll be together in the dark

Cause if it's coming for you
Then it's coming for me
Cause I will be there
Cause we need each other in the dark
And if it terrifies you
Then it terrifies me
Cause I will be there
So we've got each other in the dark

As I look into the sky
There's sparks bright as ice
You want me to take you over there
I want you to stay with me
Cuz you're not the only one
The only one

No, no
Don't worry
You're not the only one

Cause if it's coming for you
Then it's coming for me
But I will be there
Cuz we need each other in the dark

_______

Cause if it's coming for you
Then it's coming for me
But I will be there
Cuz we need each other in the dark
And if it's panicking you
Then it's panicking me
But I will be there
So we've got each other in the dark

In the dark
In the dark
We'll need each other in the dark

In the dark
In the dark
We'll hold each other in the dark

Now we're saved together in the dark

Cause we've got each other in the dark

OKAY SO IM JUST KINDA SCREWED UP RIGHT NOW.

im happy, i think.

but i missssssssss it.

i looked at pictures, pictures that made me feel weird. jealous, sad, regret - but i am so sure that this is the right thing. and this is the real risk.. ive let you go, your finding something else, willlllll you chose me in the end.

i guess its just a silly song about you, and how i lost you, and your brown eyes.

i wanted to tell you exactly how i felt, but i didnt. i lied instead because i couldnt bear to hurt you again.

i need to stop.

It has beeeeeeeeen a long time since ive posted
sooooo third year, senior ra, single, a lot is different
friends have come and gone but i still feel the same
i have a mid term tomorrow and i just found out that one of the TAs is someone who went to highschool with me.. crazy
also im prob gunna fail it cause i have no interest in it but need it for my minor.
as of right now i am a CJPP major and POLS minor.
i have beeeeeeeeen having a lot of fun in the downtown guelph scene
and have had a wild month to say the least.
dan, corey, matt, gord, rob what a messsssss.
anyway i am no longer concerned with any of that
and im just hoping to find myself .
i talk to him last night - it was weird and probably a mistake but if theres a time to be making mistakes its right now.

the ven mach is free at 3:30am on sunday and wednesday.
I have enough chocolate chips candy and gun to last me all summer.

I feeel sick right now
i am sick, but i also am feeling really betrayed
this happens every year i guess
that point in time where i just stop liking everyone i liked before
i can see all the things that i dislike about each person and its just pushing me away
because its all i see when i look at them.
no one and nothing can make me feel better. 
i havnt laughed in a while i want to lock myself in my room and hide from everyone. 
i also, as much as i dislike everyone right now dont wanna say goodbye to my students, and the ra's at the end of the year. 

 

dorm life.

iiii dont know.

i have sweeeet friends
with awesome secrets
we share secrets.
they think i dont share my feelings.
well i dont really have any right now
im just here just feeling nothing and everything sometimes 
but not really caring too much
it always works out in the end doesnt it ?

i wanna run with a wreckless emotion, find out if love if the size of the ocean.
 

have you ever wished for an endless night?
lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight.

tonight.

cuba soon
im doing horrible in school
im in a very very very complicated relationship,
with several people.
complicated is my life.

next semester i will be mostly sober.
none of this three nights a week stupidity.
i am no longer a first year and i need a 90.

its not like i need somebody telling me where i should go at night,
dont worry you'll find somebody



sooooo he says hes made a mistake
and he misses me.
i realllllly dont know.
i made out with a rugby player.

i just listened to the whole breakaway cd by kelly clarkson,
i cleaned my room.
my students are up right now, but for the first night in 3 weeks i am not hanging out with them.
i know its 4:30 but for some ridiculous reason it is normal to be up until this time,
and i will propbably be up until 9am.
i have to make a website by wednesday midnight and i have no clue how to do it.
i should have started 3 weeks ago and now im fucked.
i hateeeeee distance ed.
i havnt talked to him since... wednesday ! im almost at a week .
i didnt go on my date, i chickened out.
but i did learn how to steal pop from the vending machine.
he thought it was cool, it made me happy.
i made 6 costumes for my students for halloween.
and did shots with them before the bar.
i also called them when i was high to order chinese for me by the time i got back to res.
and my stoner kid def saw me buying pot/rolling a joint at a party which i shouldnt have gone too since i knew he was there.
i am fucking up.
also, i did something i shouldnt have on thursday night
dollar beers fuck me up - and i didnt knwo who he was.

there's no one in town i know
you gave us someplace to go
i never said thank you for that
thought i might get one more chance


what would you think of me now?
so lucky
so strong
so proud
never said thank you for that
now i'll never have a chance

may angels lead you in
hear you me my friends
on sleepless roads the sleepless go
may angels lead you in

what would you think of me now?
so lucky
so strong
so proud
never said thank you for that
now i'll never have a chance

may angels lead you in
hear you me my friends
on sleepless roads the sleepless go
may angels lead you in


if you were with me tonight
i'd sing to you just one more time
a song for a heart so big god wouldn't let it live


may angels lead you in
hear you me my friends
on sleepless roads the sleepless go
may angels lead you in

may angels lead you in
hear you me my friends
on sleepless roads the sleepless go
may angels lead you in

so i have a pretend boyfriend, joe.
he just got out of a 5year one and so we text when we are weak.
i went to waterloo to visit meg this weekend and came back with lee archibald, hes 3 years older, and he's almost a fire fighter.
i have no idea how i feel about this, he asked me to see a movie..
but our only interaction was a 4 hour bar conversation that i do not remember and some cue cards that call me a sexy kitty.
furthermore joey is texting me about how im distant and how he misses talking to me.. etc
obviously im going to be distant im damaged and broken because of him, and i am trying to put myself back together..
BUT the problem is, by talking to eachother constantly we are not making any progress i am not getting over him.
like what is the point of breaking up, when all you do is talk to your x all the time ?
i didnt talk to joey for 3 days and i was feeling great and met lee and got wasted with the football team and life was super..
and now im back in guelph and expecting a call from joey at 6:30.
ughhhhhhhhhhh.

i stayed awake until 6am with my students - i feel asleep while they were talking in my room. i think im a bad ra & im too friendly with them.

briana.
you want to remember how this feels
so that you never ever ever ever ever ever feel like this again.

my nose hurts.
my head hurts.
my everything hurts.
it isnt up to me.

each day i think to myself it will get better
but it never does
this is the hardest thing ive ever done 
i look at my phone a thousand times
and nothing
i dont know if hanging out made it better or worse
even though i know this is for the best
i cant seem to accept it
i feel like im never going to get over you
the thought of kissing someone else makes me sick to my stomach
the thought of awkward hugs goodbye and kisses on the forehead make me cry
the nights are the worst and finding little things you gave me along the way
i dont want someone new, i dont want someone better, i dont want to know what else is out there
i just want to be with you.